FROM ROCK HALL PIRATES AND WENCHES
The Legend of Graybeard – PART V:
The War That Never Was
Introduction
The War of 1812
The War Nobody Won

The “War Nobody Won,” better known as the War of 1812, represents a highpoint of an exciting chapter in maritime history. It is often glorified as the “Golden Age of Sail.” Throughout the 18th century and the decades leading up to what would also be remembered as America’s Second War for Independence, the world’s oceans, shorelines and harbors had become raging battlefields typified by thunderous cannon fire, barbaric boarding actions, amphibious invasions and tactical maneuvers testing all elements of human bravery and seamanship. In the early 19th century, caught amid an already long and costly series of wars between Great Britain and Napoleonic France, a young and inexperienced United States found her neutrality seriously compromised by the British policy known as impressment on the high seas. This refers to the dreaded practice of taking men into a navy by force and without notice. Finally, on June 8th 1812, at the request of President James Madison, the United States once again took arms against its former sovereign, King George III. The war lasted three years, with the most decisive American victory being won in New Orleans a month after the Treaty of Ghent formally ended the conflict. Although no one actually won the war, both sides continue to claim victory, simply because neither side lost.
Beginning in June of 2012, the State of Maryland along with the rest of the country will celebrate the 200th anniversary of the often misunderstood and nearly forgotten “war to save the republic.” Many activities, events and reenactments are being planned to commemorate the historic battles associated with the war. With heightened interest in the history of the conflict, one becomes fascinated by the dramatic role the Chesapeake Bay would play as the British set out to plunder the cities and towns situated along its tributaries. However, to fully understand the background of what ultimately brought the young nation to back to blows with its Anglo-Saxon brethren – and more specifically, to fully grasp the significance of the upper Chesapeake Bay region in America’s defining struggle for international respect – one must revisit a colossal, yet little known episode that occurred on the shores of Delmarva 100 years beforehand. The event is known locally as “The War That Never Was.”
The War of 1712
The War That Never Was 
The long history of American tension with Britain can be traced back to the reign of Queen Anne and the defiant actions of her legendary Royal Navy officer – later turned pirate — Captain Albert Kendall Hall. Captain Hall distinguished himself during the War of the Spanish Succession, known in the colonies as Queen Anne’s War. Feared by his enemies as, “La Roca” (The Rock) and hailed by his loyal shipmates as “Rock” Hall, perhaps, the captain is best known by his prematurely gray beard, which thus earned him the nickname, “Graybeard.”
Having destroyed the Spanish fleet at Vigo Bay in 1707, Graybeard, the beloved pirate, orator and leader of men, absconded from Queen Anne’s navy with a huge treasure, then sailed westward in search of a fabled northern passage around the Isle of Delmarva. After discovering and successfully navigating the passage, thus disproving earlier claims that the land was a peninsula, Graybeard and his piratical crew found great happiness in the “Pearl of the Chesapeake,” a quaint Chesapeake fishing village that still bears his name, Rock Hall.
It is well established that “NOBODY!” lived better than the pirates of Rock Hall and soon, a bawdy multitude of pirates and wenches gathered in the village under Graybeard’s fearless protection. Finding excellent sailing and bountiful fishing in the “Land of Pleasant Living,” the inhabitants soon developed their own native customs, which consisted mainly of pillaging crabs and plundering 10 ounce cans of beer. Queen Anne was unimpressed, but she vowed, “Those treasonous barbarians will surely be impressed when I get my hands on them.” With this, she commissioned an armada of unusually small ships, commanded by her malevolent cohort, Sir Jay Hawkins (great-grandson of sea dog, Sir John Hawkins), to track down the fugitive pirates. Over the next several years, Hawkins and even the Queen herself executed numerous unsuccessful actions to recapture Graybeard and the stolen treasure.
In August of 1711, a mutiny on Main Street was orchestrated by the infamous spy and Hawaiian shirt merchant, known as Smilin’ Jack. The uprising was led by Black Bart and Jim Bones, and resulted in a horrific interrogation of Graybeard by Jay Hawkins. We will forego the gory details, but suffice to report that after Hawkins injected the captain with a primitive sort of “truth serum” (actually sea rum) Graybeard finally gave up the map. Although the treasure had been hidden in plain sight, right before the scurvy pirate’s eyes, the mutiny ultimately failed as the clever captain escaped with the prize back to safety aboard a rickshaw. Vanishing into the sunset, Graybeard then shouted out the familiar query that has long survived the ages. “WHO LIVES BETTER THAN US?” In reply, the answer: “NOBODY!” resounded throughout the village as the pirates and wenches broke into their well-known refrain: Hail Rock Hall, Hail Rock Hall
Long Live Graybeard Pirates are we all
Pirates are we all, Pirates are we all
Long live Graybeard – Hail Rock Hall.

In response to the outrageous breeches of their peace, the pirates called for an assembly to redress the British violations. The gathering would come to be known as the First Congress of the Isle of Delmarva. Here, it was unanimously decided that the pirates and wenches would formally declare independence from Queen Anne’s empire, and that any further disturbance of their peaceful haven would be considered an act of war. (Although the actual document has been lost, it is believed that Thomas Jefferson borrowed a considerable portion of its content in 1776). It was further agreed that in order to secure the blessings of liberty for themselves and their posterity, it would be necessary for the pirates and wenches to provide for their own common defense, thereby authorizing the complete fortification of the Harbor as well as the establishment of an official Navy to defend the Isle of Delmarva. Then, in a historic gesture of veneration and respect, the pirates unanimously elected Graybeard to the office of First Admiral of the Chesapeake Bay and Supreme Commander of all land and sea batteries on the Isle of Delmarva. In his honor, the pirates all sang out:
Hail Rock Hall, Hail Rock Hall
Long Live Graybeard, Pirates are we all!
Pirates are we all! Pirates are we all!
Long live Graybeard, Hail Rock Hall
Graybeard, losing not a minute, rose to the lofty expectations of his loyal constituents. Summoning forth his unparalleled talent for oratory, the great leader laid out his military agenda:
“We need boats!!”
The admiral did cry.
“Boats is what we need to buy!!”
“Buy boats!!”
“Buy boats!!”
The pirates did reply.
Within weeks, the first known Chesapeake Bay fleet was commissioned under Commodore Long John Flynn, a well- known pirate and philanthropist, who donated the money needed to “buy” the boats. The vessels were uniquely designed to permit extra space on deck for cannons, crew and provisions. As a clever alternative to the more popular “tall” ships of the time, these ships were constructed with undersized masts so they could not be seen from afar. While some argued the unusual looking vessels should be simply called, “short ships,” Commodore Flynn insisted on calling them “buyboats” as a tribute to Graybeard’s historic inaugural address.
Later that year, in what came to be known as the Decree of 1712, Graybeard proclaimed that a grand naval exercise of “the utmost scale,” would surely impress the Queen and exhibit with “shock and awe,” the invincible might of Delmarva’s combined land and sea defenses. This spectacular event would coincide with the 5th anniversary of the pirates’ discovery and occupation of Rock Hall and would thus be a suitable occasion for a party. The celebrated pirate, orator and leader of men then rallied an army of volunteers that he affectionately called his “scurvy crew” to throw the most extravagant boarding party in the history of the Chesapeake Bay. Everyone sang out with joy.
Hail Rock Hall, Hail Rock Hall
Long Live Graybeard, Pirates are we all!
Pirates are we all! Pirates are we all!
Long live Graybeard, Hail Rock Hall
The exciting news spread quickly to every pirate encampment far and wide. The scurvy crew spent the next several months fortifying the village with grub and grog and cannons and powder in preparation for the August 11th extravaganza. Soon, however, when Queen Anne learned of Graybeard’s portentous decree, she became even less impressed. She indignantly vowed that there would be NO such boarding party and if anyone was to impress anyone, it would be SHE who would do the impressing. Then, in a most prodigious state of anger, Queen Anne commenced to amass her most ambitious armada ever to sail to the Isle of Delmarva, with direct orders to seize all eligible men of seafaring habits between the ages of 10 and 75 years and to pillage and plunder their every village and town. Thus began the British maritime practice that would be known as “impressment,” a cruel policy that would not end until the War of 1812.
ANNOUNCEMENT FROM ADMIRAL ALBERT KENDALL HALL
FIRST ADMIRAL OF THE CHESAPEAKE BAY
AND SUPREME COMMANDER OF THE ISLE OF DELMARVA
INVITATION
A 5-Year Celebration of Pillage and Plunder
AUGUST 10-12, 2012
AVAST ME HEARTIES! Come One and Come All
By Land or by Sea to the Town of Rock Hall
Come pirates and wenches at Graybeard’s request
For a grand celebration that will surely impress.
You will surely be impressed as Graybeard and his scurvy crew work to make this the BEST Pirates and Wenches Fantasy Weekend ever. Join the fun as the newly commissioned fleet of armed and dangerous buyboats enters the harbor under the command of Commodore Long John Flynn. Lend your support as the shore batteries pack their powder for a spectacular broadside at sunset to salute Graybeard, the First Admiral of the Chesapeake Bay. Find out who gets impressed when the British arrive to wage The War That Never Was.